Thanks to ThinkGeek.com for all their great products!
FOR THE ARCADE LOVER:
Did you ever dream of living in the arcade when you were a kid? Every morning, you'd eat your cereal on the air hockey table (turned on, of course, so your spoon would float ever so slightly). You'd get in a few rounds of your favorite game before school and when you got home, you and all your friends would mash buttons together. Then you'd go to bed, snuggled up in the ball pit. Hear that? The sound of jingling quarters, bleeping, pew pew pewing, and those words you wouldn't say if Mom's in earshot? That's the sound of pure gamer geek happiness.
Recapture that joy in your own home with the Power-Up Arcade Light Switch Plate. The Power-Up replaces your boring, normal light switch with 100% more pew pew pew! A quick few minutes of screwdriver finagling and you'll have arcade nostalgia on your wall, ready to do your bidding. Press the joystick down to turn your lights on. Push it up to turn them off. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! See those two red buttons? Press them for super fun arcade sound effects. Entering a room has never been more fun.
Click Arcade Button Watch:
Kids these days think they know everything about video games with their sitting on the couch getting blisters from console controllers. But do they know about saving up quarters so you could spend all afternoon at your favorite arcade or bowling alley playing classics like Pac-Man or Space Invaders. Do they know the joy of pounding arcade buttons and joysticks to see your initials in lights on the high-score screen? (Do they know the joy of NOT pounding arcade buttons and joysticks of vintage machines?)
Bring back memories of those classic arcade days every time you look at your watch with this Click Arcade Button Watch. Designed with the look and feel of arcade game play buttons, this LED display watch tells you the time every time you mash it. Don't be surprised if your friends or coworkers reach over to find out what time it is.
The ThinkGeek 8-Bit Tie:
A few of us monkeys at ThinkGeek had this great shared dream a few months ago. In it, the whole world was 8-Bit, just like the video games we grew up on. We found ourselves having to leap from platform to platform, to search for pieces of the Triforce of Wisdom, and to fight scary mutated plants and animals. The music was awesome (and still stuck in our heads) but the coolest part was what we were wearing: a tie. But not just any tie, an 8-Bit tie!
We woke up screaming. An 8-Bit tie - what an awesome way for the drones of Cubeland to show their independence from Corporate America! So, we did what we knew you'd want - we had the ties made. Silk-like Microfiber construction, clip on* (for easy dressing and t-shirt wear if needed), and custom designed by us for you. You'll be the envy of the office or, at least, you'll get tons of attention. You'll be just like Mario when he wore a tie to meetings when negotiating his contract with Nintendo. Sure the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 are out there with all their super technology, but sometimes it's nice to remember the beginnings of the video game revolution. Viva la 8-Bit!
* Clip on note - Hey folks, there is a very good reason why this tie must be a clip on. A real tie would end up creating a non 8-bit curved triangle knot at the top of the design. The 8-bit effect would be instantly lost. Nanny Nanny boo boo.
Tetris Heat Changing Mug:
If you're like us, most mornings you wake up with the Tetris theme song burned into your subconscious. As you slowly wake up, it's like somebody is turning the knob on the volume. It slowly gets louder and louder until it bursts out of your mouth in a beautiful, groggy melody. But, when you need just a little bit more Tetris in your mornings, the Tetris Heat Changing Mug will do the trick. Caffeinate your body while you soothe your soul with an energizing, uplifting 8-bit tune.
Of course, any hot drink will bring the Tetris mug to life, but in the spirit of the 1980s, you need caffeine. The colorful, vibrant, symmetry of Tetris was born out of caffeine-fueled late nights and incredibly early mornings. To keep that spirit pumping, you need to get your mind racing and your heart thumping. So bust out that coffee, brew up that tea and sip up your energy to the sight of the Tetris mug, with musical accompaniment by you.
Pac-Man Stapler:
Pac-Man goes waka waka waka all over the place, eating pellets and never leaving anything behind. But then he realized the ghosts were laughing at him - at his crooked teeth, that is. So he got braces. But there was a side effect. As he walked around the board, his braces broke off and . . . ok, so we were going with a "he left metal all over the place" idea, but it got tedious. Forget all that nonsense and gaze at the metal leaving wonder that is the Pac-Man Stapler.
It looks like a Pac-Man with braces, but it's a mini stapler. A Pac-Man Stapler, to be precise. Use his bites to keep your documents together, or just to make neato metal patterns in paper during meetings. Don't just have a boring stapler, (Red Swingline excepted) - get a Pac-Man Stapler today!
FOR THE FPS/APOCALYPSE LOVER:
Comrad Gaming Helmet:
What's your franchise-of-choice? Medal of Honor? Call of Duty? Arma? Battlefield? No matter which is your thing, if you're a hardcore player of tactical shooters, you know how easy it is to get immersed in the game. Your knuckles are white after a big firefight. Your abs hurt from inadvertently ducking. In single-player mode, you find yourself trash talking NPCs.
Don't let all that trash talk go to waste. Don the Comrad Gaming Helmet and be truly immersed in the experience. The Comrad features wireless speakers, so you're not tied down. It has a detachable boom mic to catch all your cursing (and a microphone port if you have a mic you prefer). Your ears are uncovered, so you can hear what's going on around you, as well as in the game. You can control the master game audio and the chat volume separately, as well as having a quick mute function, all from the helmet itself. Best of all, it works with your system today, whether you play on an Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U, Wii, PC, or Mac.
Avenger Elite XBOX 360 Controller:
We could wax on about how much fun/annoying it is playing games on the internet and the reasons why some of us have a Friends Only policy for online gaming. But that would take up room that we could use to say how friggin' awesome the Avenger is and why it's going to make you a gaming god/dess.
The Avenger is an external adapter. It snaps on over your existing XBOX 360 controller and will improve your situational awareness, accuracy, agility, and reaction time. The Avenger allows for rapid, fluid movements between individual buttons and analog sticks. Equipped with a stabilizer stand, customizable levers, high-precision tension straps, hair-trigger capabilities, and sensitivity adjusters, the Avenger can be fine-tuned like an instrument.
Got bigger or smaller hands than the average gamer? Avenger lets you customize your controller to perfectly fit your digits. After you've created the perfect fit, run around in your favorite FPS and take some practice shots. Be warned, though! It's a bit like hopping into a race car when you're used to driving a beater. Take a bit of time to get used to the advanced rapid fire capabilities. Then challenge your friends to a "casual game." Mwah ha ha.
Tactical Laser-Guided Pizza Cutter:
You know what this world needs? Laser-guided pizza delivery. When you order, the pizza place takes aim with their laser-guided pizza cannon and pew pew boom. Your delicious meal is on its way with complete accuracy instead of the delivery guy wandering around your neighborhood aimlessly for 10 minutes while your meal gets cold.
Until then, we'll have to settle for this laser-guided pizza cutter, which, we will admit, is pretty awesome technology on its own. The laser/flashlight scope attachment projects a line on your pizza so with a steady hand and a good eye you can have straight cuts every time. That means there's less time wasted arguing about whose slice is bigger and more time to enjoy the deliciousness. Mmm. Cheesy goodness.
DIY Instant Underpants Two-Pack:
If you know children or ever was one, you know that accidents happen. And some of those accidents happen in pants. Long story short: sometimes kids need new underwear in a hurry. For those children, there is now hope. And when those children grow up, there is a wonderful gag gift. That hopeful gag gift is called a pair of DIY Instant Underpants.
DIY Instant Underpants start out as a dry pellet in a very keen (and reusable) tin. Add the pellet to water and get it good and wet. The compressed layers start to separate and (with your help), you'll soon have a pair of DIY Instant Underpants in front of you. You can let them dry or wear them wet (both are fun). You don't even have to wear them down there - on your head is equally acceptable. DIY Instant Underpants - in a pinch, we've got you covered!
The Gun Mug:
Most mornings, caffeine is required before your brain properly engages. Attempting to startle or aggravate a geek before he's had his morning jolt is asking for a world of hurt. Geeks can be downright snippy before they've had a chance to properly wake up. Extreme care must be taken in these circumstances.
Every morning, without fail, there's that worthless jerk in the office that's been awake with the sun, and, with extreme perkiness, tries to engage you in mindless banter. Your synapses fire just enough to remind you that, indeed, you hate that guy. Relying entirely on your lizard brain to work the controls on the coffee dispenser, you pour a piping hot cup-o-joe into your Gun Mug.
Seeing the handle and the trigger-grip, said jerk gets the message quickly and backs the hell off. Nobody wants to mess with a geek with a gun. Even if that gun is only loaded with coffee.
The Condiment Gun:
If you want to see a hamburger or hot dog really shake in its buns just point this Condiment Gun in its direction. This Condiment Gun brings a little extra fun to backyard BBQs. No more crusty ketchup bottles. Instead load up your favorite condiments - ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, BBQ sauce - into this gun, pull the trigger, and neatly dress your dinner to perfection.
FOR THE RACING LOVER:
Mega Man Air Freshners:
Ever wonder what video game characters smell like? Well, we do. We think Link smells like the forest and excitement. Peach smells like, well, peach. Mario and Luigi? Well, sadly they probably smell like burnt poo (from all those fireballs and sewer pipes). And Mega Man, what would he smell like? Get yerself a Mega Man Air Freshener and you'll know!
See, the folks who made the Mega Man Air Freshener didn't just slap some stink on some cardboard. They talked to gamers and collected personality traits of Mega Man (and Proto Man - can't leave that dude hanging). These traits were translated into scents and those scents were combined into the final fragrance. Choose from Mega Man or Proto Man or collect them both. Hang Proto Man in your car, and Mega Man (with a different pose on each side) around your neck. Always smell good with a Mega Man Air Freshener around!
Hot Rod Heated Travel Mug:
Your morning routine probably includes coffee, and a daily commute. You take great pains to make sure your coffee is rich and delicious, and, most importantly, hot. So when it comes to taking your travel mug full of hot coffee with you for your trip to work, what happens?
You guessed it. The coffee gets cold before you really get a chance to enjoy it. Most travel mugs, you see, do a very bad job at actually insulating, and bleed out heat faster than an airlock blows out atmosphere. You need supplemental heat to maintain temperature, as well as the ability to actually monitor just how hot or cold your brew has become before you put your lips to the rim.
This coffee mug evokes a nostalgic feeling that comes with 60's hot rod muscle cars. With a glossy candy-shell exterior, chrome accents, and beautiful analog gauges and switches, these mugs look fast just standing still. With the included DC adapter, you can plug your mug right into your car's cigarette lighter 12v outlet, and maintain your coffee's optimum temperature.
Your coffee will stay nice and hot, and it'll look good doing it, too.
Smartphone Controlled Desk Pet Carbot:
Like to build giant paperclips sculptures on your desk? Do you draw intricate designs on your white-board? Build elaborate castles out of Post-It cubes? Maybe you actually do work. (What?) In the meantime, we have the perfect little distraction just for you. Now with just your smartphone and a pocket-sized race car you can have hours of fun racing in, up and around your desk. CarBots are controlled using the touch screen of your favorite smart device, so when your boss looks in, it will just look like you are writing an email on your phone! Perfect!
CarBots include four different game play modes. Drift ‘n’ race mode lets you move the car back and forth and spin out in donuts (better to make them than to eat them). Battle mode means you can take on other bots using infrared rockets to try to disable them in an all out war (helps get out workplace aggression)! Maze mode lets the CarBot use infrared sensors to navigate mazes and avoid obstacles (wish we had one of these built into our bodies). Personality mode lets your CarBot go wild using its moves, lights and sound to show its bot-personality (your personality, remember that thing?).
FOR THE PUZZLE LOVER:
World of Warcraft Trivia Pursuit:
Ever wonder what Trivial Pursuit would be like in other lands? In Azeroth, for instance, would they still have questions about US Politics? We don't think so. They'd have questions about their own history and politics and geography and stuff. Well, like it fell through a dimensional fissure, that's what we got here: World of Warcraft Trivial Pursuit.
World of Warcraft Trivial Pursuit is all about WoW. Move your custom baby Murloc piece around (following the number on the custom baby Murloc die) and earn yourself some wedges by answering questions correctly (wedges still fit in classic playing pieces, also included). World of Warcraft Trivial Pursuit categories include villains, lore, and loot! Adventure through 600 questions to test who really knows World of Warcraft and who should just go out into the real world and play outside.
Our copywriter monkey will admit she both loves and hates puzzles. She enjoys figuring things out and the vast sense of accomplishment when a puzzle is defeated, but if she can't figure something out she'll throw a mental tantrum and lose sleep for weeks. Srsly, she'll have dreams about the puzzle and come in to work looking like a pink-haired zombie. If you are like her, the 36 Cube is not for you. You will probably lose sleep, friends, family, your job, and your house in the attempt to figure it out. Now that you've had the warning, read on...
The 36 Cube is a 3D sudoku puzzle that consists of a gray base that looks like a city skyline and 36 colored towers. The towers come in six different colors and six different heights. Your mission - should you accept it - is to place all the towers onto the base and form a level cube with each of the six colors appearing once and only once in each row and column. It seems simple until you get 34 of the 36 towers placed and then realize you've done something wrong and have to start all over again. What's even more unnerving - you can't solve this puzzle by writing a computer program to do the logic for you. You'll have to rely on your own brain, nerds. Good luck.
Exclusive Team Fortress 2 Chess Set
When the troops from Reliable Excavation & Demolition and Builders League United aren't on the battlefield, they often unwind in the green room together. They sip sodas, eat cheese-flavored snacks, and play board games. But not just any board game. They play chess. Ah, chess - that classic game that simulates two sides on a battlefield. TWO SIDES AT WAR!!! The tables flip and the guns come out. It's RED vs. BLU all over again in this Exclusive Team Fortress 2 Chess Set.
Exclusive Team Fortress 2 Chess Set is an absolutely beautiful rendition of chess. BLU pieces vs RED pieces, with a twist. That's right: HATS!! The pieces of Team Fortress 2 Chess have hats that literally twist off (using Construct-o-Lock technology) and can be swapped between pieces. What happens when hats switch? Even more TF2 zaniness. Oh, and you don't just get these wicked pieces when you get a Exclusive Team Fortress 2 Chess Set. You just don't get the game board. You get even more - some DLC love for the video game. Because Exclusive Team Fortress 2 Chess Set is the gift that keeps on giving. Just like the Pyro's fire. Awwww.
Princip Interactive LED Futuro Cube
What do you get when you take multi axis accelerometers, haptic vibration feedback, wireless connectivity, 4-channel audio and 54 multi-color LEDs and roll it into a handheld cube? A unique gaming experience unlike any other of course. What? You didn't know that?
ThinkGeek worked with our European friends Princip to produce this super cool gaming toy of the future. How does it work? Hard to explain but we'll try.
The Futuro Cube senses rotation and tapping on any side. It can vibrate, play audio and dynamically change it's LED colors across any face of the cube to provide feedback. A dozen built in games then take advantage of these controls. What's more, buy two cubes and they can interact together. Not enough? Wait for the software development kit coming out later this year and program your own applications.
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Well, that about does it! But here are some other gifts, just for those who couldn't make it this year.
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FOR THE BRONY:
Friendship is Money Wallet
We'll start out by pointing out that if you're in Ponyville, this is probably not the ideal wallet for you. It isn't really made for bits. Bills, yes. Plastic, yes. IDs you have to carry because we can't all have cutie marks, yes. Bits would be more complicated. But then you'd think they'd be complicated for ungulates, but no. That's cause Friendship is MAGIC, you see. Any sufficiently advanced pony....
This blue, bifold wallet features Twilight Sparkle with the phrase "I'm Gonna Tolerate & Love The Heck Outta You." (We know. The word "heck" isn't in the original. We're assuming Hasbro didn't want their name on a wallet that had the original word on it. They are a toy company.) Has a clear window for your ID with a thumb opening for easy access. Three additional card slots and a cash section. Your Faithful Merchant, Twilight Sparkle.
Rainbow Dash Hooded Union Suit
Rainbow Dash is often accused of being lazy. Where are you going to find her? Likely lounging on a cloud or kicking back with her shades on. Does she ever DO anything? Truth is, yes. But Dashy is so awesome that she did a day's worth of work in ten seconds flat. All that athleticism and exertion deserves a nap, don't you think?
When your friends and family accuse you of being lazy, just tell them that you did everything you needed to do today in ten seconds flat and you are currently rewarding yourself for a job well done by being comfortable in your Rainbow Dash Hooded Union Suit. This suit is made of super soft polyester and features detachable feet, a hood with embroidered eyes and beautiful mane, satin wing appliques on the back, and embroidered cutie mark on your flank.
FOR THE RETRO:
Retro Video Game Cartridge Pillow Set
We never understood those people who have "formal" living rooms. Who wants to be formal in their own house? Certainly not us! We want to hang out in our PJs, eat Cheetos, and play video games. We want to spill popcorn on the floor on purpose so our dogs can eat it. Living rooms are for living!
Video games are a huge part of our lives and have been ever since we got our first console as wee geeks. We'd hug those consoles and cartridges, but they are hard and pointy and hugging hard and pointy things hurts. (Don't ask how we know.) That's when we knew what we needed to do: we created the Retro Video Game Cartridge Pillow Set! These cartridges are cuddly and soft and make perfect throw pillows, nap pillows, or butt pillows for wee geeks who are sitting on the floor starting their love affair with gaming.
Retro Video Game Propaganda Posters
Step up, Space Adventurer! The world needs you! Whether your strengths lie in jumping, pumping, or redlining light-cycles, your skills are needed to defeat the scourges of the Arcade! That Ape and his fiery minions must be toppled from their perches! The Master Control Program must be de-rezzed! And when it comes to defeating the dreaded Pterodactyl, aim your lance directly into the beast's mouth!
We rely on your deft handling, fine motor skills and pockets full of quarters to help bring down the enemies of all that is good and just! What will the Princess do without your help? What would happen if all those eggs hatched and black-armored riders filled the skies? And what of the poor frog? Will he ever make it home?
We have strong faith that we will all prevail, and with your help, victory will come soon. If, however, you need inspiration, we offer these wonderful motivational posters to remind you that you fight on the side right. Printed in a retro-propaganda style, this set of five posters will grace the walls of your bedroom, office, or arcade and remind you exactly why we fight!
FOR THE DOCTOR WHO FAN:
Doctor Who Build Your Own Sonic Screwdriver
There's been a lot of speculation about who the 12th Doctor might be, including a vocal group insisting it be Helen Mirren. We're on the fence, mostly because we hope it's one of us. Of course, being the Doctor means having a particular quirky fashion. Long scarf has been done. Trenchcoat, done. Bowtie & fez, done. Maybe we'll nominate merchant monkey Billy to be the lumberjack shirt and jorts Doctor.
This DIY set lets you create your very own sonic screwdriver and act out your own dreams of being the 12th Doctor. It features over 80 possible combinations, so you'll have plenty of ways to customize it to your liking. You can even choose your own colored light and sound effects. May the best tool win!
Doctor Who Levitating TARDIS
We imagine that if The Doctor were stranded on Earth for a long period of time without his real TARDIS, he'd appreciate having a smaller model to play with and admire. It's like being a kid (of any age!) and having a collection of matchbox cars. You may not have a real Maserati, but this miniature one sure is sweet! Zoom zoom! Oh wait, that's the sound a Mazda makes. We're obviously not experts in such things. Anyhoo, we think a TARDISless Doctor would really love this matchbox model of his time-traveling ride.
The Levitating TARDIS uses the magic of magnets (how do they work?) to make the blue police box hover inside the black base unit. With a little practice, you can gently flick the TARDIS and set it spinning. The best part? We were so excited about this... go to the nearest vending machine and purchase a bag of Skittles. Use the Skittles to create an epic battle between the Doctor and the new Daleks! As each Dalek dies, toss it in your mouth and taste the rainbow. Delicious.
FOR THE PRANKSTER:
Phantom Keystroker
With the advent of the incessantly beeping and easily concealable Annoy-a-tron, ThinkGeek has ushered in a new era of sophisticated office pranks sure to drive your co-workers bonkers while you snicker silently at your desk. Now the next advanced level in stealthy office joke electronics is ready for your enjoyment. The Phantom Keystroker may look like a harmless usb thumb drive, but it's actually a devious contraption of unlimited office-based torture. Simply discreetly attach the Phantom Keystroker to any extra USB port on your victim's computer, no drivers needed.
The Keystroker emulates a keyboard and mouse and periodically makes random mouse movements, toggles caps-lock and types out odd garbage text and phrases. Switches on the side allow you to choose between keyboard garbage typing, caps lock-toggle, annoying mouse movements or all three. An adjustment dial sets the duration between "events". We recommend you don't set it too frequently so as to extend the agony. Your hapless co-worker pal will think his computer has been possessed or infected by a destructive virus. As he writhes in anger and furiously dials tech support you can rest easy with a job well done.
WARNING
The Phantom Keystroker never hits the return key and it never clicks the mouse button. However you should not use it on anyone's system who is doing critical work where disruption could cause serious consequences. The Phantom Keystroker is a joke, like any joke you need to use prudence and judgement when executing it. You have been warned!
Thanks for Reading! And as Always, Gamers of the Nations, RAGE ON! Hope you all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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