WTF HAPPENED TO THE XBOX?!?!?!

On May 21st, 2013, Microsoft officially announced their next-gen console, the Xbox One. And in response, all I have to say is this:
WTF HAPPENED TO THE XBOX?!?!?!

The New Xbox One. (Picture Courtesy of Machinima)

The console looks HORRIBLE! I can understand Microsoft's attempt at change but where's the style that the Xbox 360 had that gave Microsoft an edge? Now that Microsoft has returned to its block stages, it doesn't give off that modern feel the 360 had. Not only that, look at what they've done to the poor Kinect! They turned it from an intelligent burrito-shaped piece of software into a nerdy block of ugly! The only thing that looks good is the controller. I wouldn't even buy the console itself, I'd just buy the controller because that's the only thing that actually looks good out of this whole bundle.

But not only does the console have its downfalls, so did the conference. ALL THEY SHOWED WAS RACING GAMES AND CALL OF DUTY. Listen, Bill Gates: just because Call of Duty is one of the biggest shoot-em-up franchises in the WORLD doesn't mean we all play it! So don't go off showcasing COD like it's a freakin' God! 

The only option that can willingly make me want to buy the console is if there will be an equal balance between Kinect and actual console games. When the Kinect came out for 360, there weren't really enough games to really showcase the system's full abilities. Not only that, most of the games of 2012 were, again, shoot-em-ups. So let's see a little bit more diversity this year, ok?

All-in-all, Microsoft's next-gen console looks horrible by appearance. Then again, it was announced the day before this writing so what can we expect in the future? I'm just hoping Microsoft doesn't let us down.

And as Always, Gamers of the Nations, Rage On.

A Quick Thanks :)

Hey guys, it's CJ and I just wanted to make a quick entry to say thank you for over 500 page-views. Never did I think that so many people would even look at this blog! :') To be precise, as of May 21st, 2013, I've reached 541 page-views with my most popular article being my article in February 26th, 2013, "Top 10 Most Annoying Video Game Characters." Again, thank you all for your support. Even if you aren't subscribed to my YouTube channel or in my Google+ circles, you are all a part of my Gamers of the Nations Army. Thank you!

Thank you... :')

And as Always, Rage On.

Sincerely,
 CJ Poirer
Ruler of Gamers of the Nations Army

Top 10 Stuff Gamers Should Get. Seriously.

Throughout the last century, video games have become a big part of pop culture. I mean, Mario was so popular that in 1990-91, there was Super Mario Bros. SODA. Flavors included Yoshi Lime, Mario Cherry, Peach Strawberry, and Luigi Berry. But we aren't in the 90s anymore! Sure, some of us wish we still do but we don't so move on! Anyways, this is 2013 and there has been a heck of a lot of cool video game merch. So, thanks to ThinkGeek.com, here's my Top 10 list of Stuff Gamers Should Get.


10) Mega Man Air Freshener:
Ever wonder what video game characters smell like? Well, we do. We think Link smells like the forest and excitement. Peach smells like, well, peach. Mario and Luigi? Well, sadly they probably smell like burnt poo (from all those fireballs and sewer pipes). And Mega Man, what would he smell like? Get yerself a Mega Man Air Freshener and you'll know!

See, the folks who made the Mega Man Air Freshener didn't just slap some stink on some cardboard. They talked to gamers and collected personality traits of Mega Man (and Proto Man - can't leave that dude hanging). These traits were translated into scents and those scents were combined into the final fragrance. Choose from Mega Man or Proto Man or collect them both. Hang Proto Man in your car, and Mega Man (with a different pose on each side) around your neck. Always smell good with a Mega Man Air Freshener around! 


9) Power-Up Arcade Light Switch Plate:

  Did you ever dream of living in the arcade when you were a kid? Every morning, you'd eat your cereal on the air hockey table (turned on, of course, so your spoon would float ever so slightly). You'd get in a few rounds of your favorite game before school and when you got home, you and all your friends would mash buttons together. Then you'd go to bed, snuggled up in the ball pit. Hear that? The sound of jingling quarters, bleeping, pew pew pewing, and those words you wouldn't say if Mom's in earshot? That's the sound of pure gamer geek happiness.

Recapture that joy in your own home with the Power-Up Arcade Light Switch Plate. The Power-Up replaces your boring, normal light switch with 100% more pew pew pew! A quick few minutes of screwdriver finagling and you'll have arcade nostalgia on your wall, ready to do your bidding. Press the joystick down to turn your lights on. Push it up to turn them off. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! See those two red buttons? Press them for super fun arcade sound effects. Entering a room has never been more fun.


 8) Giant Robot Battle Fists:

To Whom It May Concern,

A bustling metropolis in the heart of Japan is a place vulnerable to Mother Nature's cruel sense of humor. Having recently birthed humanity, she continues to play pranks on the creatures that scurry around her surface in their attempts to survive.

Humanity has their own problems, what with Dr. Eve Ell, Ph.D. consistently terrorizing the city with her mutant monsters and flying robot pandas. It's all a bit sickening.

This city needs me, Giant-Mecha-Mega-Monster-Super-Funtime Dude, and I'm here to save them in any way I can. I'd be just another career man if it wasn't for my father's secret lab, which he gifted to me on his deathbed. Inside, I found the tool to save this city: the Giant-Mecha-Mega-Monster-Super-Funtime Robot Gloves.

It took every last ounce of my father's remaining life force to combine the Cobalt Flame with the very last metallic flakes of Robotonium. In doing so, he was able to bring the strength of a thousand winds into the titanium frame of the Robot King's hands. And, thanks to my father, I now wear these gloves for the people of this city with the goal of saving every last one of them from Dr. Eve Ell, her flying robot pandas, and anything else that may come my way.

Thank you, Father, your last wish will be my life's desire.

Your Son, Giant-Mecha-Mega-Monster-Super-Funtime Dude


7) Minecraft Light-Up Torch:

Sometimes it's just easier to buy the Torch instead of crafting it, especially IRL. So, when you've run out of charcoal and wood or just can't seem to make enough to stop hostile mobs from spawning, get yourself the Minecraft Wall Torch. Place one every 12 blo-feet in your home along the walls and it'll stop any hostiles from popping up.

Another plus is the most recent patch enabling you to mount your torch on glass! Melt away that snow or prevent your lake from freezing, only in a 2-block radius of course. You can even mount it in a pumpkin for an adorable jack-o-lantern. Okay, don't actually do any of that, it'll just end up breaking. Just mount it on your wall because it looks cool and maybe, MAYBE it'll keep zombies away. So far, it seems to be working. Have you seen any zombies lately? Didn't think so.


 6) Portal 2 PotatOS Science Kit:

Some of our fondest memories from Portal 2 were of carrying PotatOS around the testing facility. We felt so close to her; it was almost like we were friends. Except we weren't, really. But we understand. Her days used to be easy. She tested. Nobody murdered her or put her in potato or fed her to birds. It was a pretty good life until we showed up.

If you missed the children's Science Fair at Aperture Labs, no worries! We've packaged nearly everything you need in this handy PotatOS Science Kit. The kit even includes a miniature science fair poster with brand new content from Valve's writing team! Why "nearly everything," you ask? You'll have to provide your own potato, but we're sure you have one nearby. Follow the directions and in minutes you'll turn a mild-mannered Russet potato into your very own PotatOS that lights up and will insult you, just like old times.


5) Tetris Animated Alarm Clock:

We can remember it like it was yesterday. Summer time in high school pre-drivers license, pre-job, no spending money. What did we have to keep us occupied after sleeping in all morning? Our "old school" Nintendo and Tetris. We're talking hours of Tetris. Hours. Two-player tournaments until our thumbs were stiff and sore.

Those good old days of sleeping in and playing video games for hours are long gone, but that doesn't mean you can't still get your fix of Tetris every day. It just might not be on your Nintendo. Instead, you can wake up to this officially-licensed Tetris Alarm Clock and its Tetris theme song alarm. Watch the minutes tick by as Tetriminos pieces fall into place to form each new number as the minutes roll by.


4) Pixel Time Wall Clock:



Back when videogames cost a quarter per play, and nobody had phones in their pockets, geeks would spend their hard earned cash in dimly lit yet brightly colored arcades. The din of bleeps and bloops was hypnotic, and drew passers by within, like some kind of insidious 8-bit pitcher-plant.

Arcades, like Las Vegas casinos, were designed to lure you in and keep you there, so as to keep collecting your coins. No view of the outside world, no clocks, no sense of time at all. It's an elaborate ruse to make you forget that your mom was coming to pick you up promptly at 8.
  
If there ever was a clock in an arcade parlor, it would totally look like this. 8-bit style with pixellated corners and everything, yet still remain deliciously analog. Little stubby sweep minute and hour hands mark the passage of time, even if Magic Castles makes you think time has stopped



3) Zelda Ocarina:
While spelunking in the basement at the ThinkGeek headquarters we met a fairy girl handing out bright blue Ocarinas. She mumbled some warning about the end of the world, deku nuts and the tri-force but we were all too busy to notice. Later some employees found that during long afternoon meetings they could summon a galloping horse just by playing the correct melody on their ocarina. But then Ganon burst in and the jig was up... fortunately for you we stashed away a few of these completely playable Ocarina flutes to spend your hard earned rupees on.




2) Universal Gadget Wrist Charger:

One of the best parts of road trips is quality time playing our favorite handheld games. (This is, of course, why you insist someone else drives the vehicle.) But the problem with long road trips is that you often exhaust the battery life of your gaming system before the point on the road trip where you really, really need it. Of course, we're talking about mile 150 of 300, where the guy riding shotgun starts in on a political diatribe and the person sitting next to you begins to have intestinal upset from the food recently delivered through the driver's side window. Where's Mario now? Oh yeah, he's dead until you can find an outlet. Are we there yet?

The Wrist Charger, or as we like to call it, Bracer of Battery Life +2, straps comfortably to your wrist and plugs in to just about any electronic device you like. It'll power cell phones, mp3 players, gaming systems, or any device compatible with mini USB. Now you'll have plenty of power to get through long days traveling (or long lines at the DMV, we've been there, too!). When you reach your destination, simply plug your bracer in and charge its battery back up so you're ready with plenty of entertainment for the long trip home. 


1)  Half-Life 2 Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator Replica OR Portal 2 Miniature Replica Portal Gun:

ThinkGeek is proud to be chosen as one of the select retailers to be able to offer NECA's newest prop replica: the Half Life 2 Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator. Since Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator is a mouthful and ZPEFM isn't much better, how about we call it the Gravity Gun from here on out? Capisce? Good.

The Gravity Gun is a 1:1, screen-accurate replica made of molded plastic. It features orange LEDs, two handles, two triggers, and four sounds from the game. A fold-away kickstand allows you to display it when you're not using it. The good news is that it won't be quite as heavy as the gun that Alyx struggles to lift. Holding it will feel more like you're wearing Gordon's HEV suit. With it, you'll be able to pick up heavy objects and fling them with incredible force. JUST KIDDING. You'll just be the envy of all the Half-Life fans in your life.

This collectible will go on sale in July. We'll have a limited quantity and once they're sold out, they're gone forever. Sign up to get emailed the second they're in stock!

_________________________________________________________________________________

 
You hopped through the wrong portal, friend. Suddenly, you're the size of a Companion Cube! The good news? You're shorter than the turrets! No more worries about being riddled with (whole) bullets. The bad news? You'll have to get even more creative with your Handheld Portal Device because you can't jump quite as far with your tiny legs. At least your Handheld Portal Device sized itself down with you!

Whether you're experiencing an unexpected side effect of being in the "control group" at Aperture Laboratories or bemoaning your less exciting (but probably less dangerous) job, the Portal 2 Miniature Replica Portal Gun is for you. 

Coming in at a foot long and weighing just one pound, this miniature tool of Science looks great on your desk, displayed on a shelf with your Companion Cube, or perched on your mantel. A three-way switch lets you select the orange or blue LED, which correspond with the sound effects when you pull the trigger. It's the perfect gift for any fan of the Portal video game series and arrives in a handsome full-color gift box.



That's my Top 10, guys! Tell me what you guys think in the Comments and what you would've liked to see make the list! And be sure to check out ThinkGeek, who has Stuff for the Smart Masses.


And as Always, Gamers of the Nations, Rage On.

Dead Space 3 is a.... FAILURE?!

Well, Electronic Arts released it's annual sales report and the most odd thing came up: Dead Space 3 was classified as a "failure."

According to William D'Angelo of VGChartz.com, EA Labels president Frank Gibeau told CVG a year ago that Dead Space 3 needs to sell five million units to justify Dead Space 4. Dead Spoce 3 has sold just 880,000 units at retail as of the week ending February 23, 2013, according to VGChartz. This is the total sales after three weeks on sale.

So why is EA being so picky about the Dead Space franchise? To my knowledge, Dead Space is one of EA's best-selling series so them being so finicky about how many copies the third installment needs to sell in order for there to be a fourth is kind of ridiculous. I mean, Game Informer gave the game a 10 out of 10 AND named it Game of the Month in February 2013(?)! They can just use what they learned from the entry and just improve and apply it to the fourth game.

So what do you, the audience think? Is EA justified to stop continuing the Dead Space franchise just because Dead Space 3 didn't sell as well as hoped? Leave a comment in the Comments!

And As Always,Gamers of the Nations, Rage On.

2013: A Good Start... So Far...

2013, so far, has been an amazing year for video games. Nintendo WiiU owners are still trying to get their fill of the launch titles, gamers are anticipating the new Xbox, the Playstation 4 has been announced, and so many new games have been announced! But if there's anything for us to worry about, it's will some types of games go somewhat extinct?

Over the last few years, video games have been getting more and more realistic, thanks to all of the new video game engines. But though most games we focus our now mostly shooters and realistic puzzles, not the simplistic, fun, family-ish games we've been accustomed to in the past. I mean, we've grown so used to games like Mario and Sonic that they may be old to us. Does that mean we care more about realistic games because of preference or is it the company's fault?

Nintendo has really done nothing new when it comes to their own, handmade games except just release a new Super Mario game. It's always the same amount of worlds, with the same challenges, and the same enemies, with the same annoying music. While other companies like Ubisoft and Sega actually manage to try to make a new game every year, with new franchises, with good reboots, and NOT KEEP DOING THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR.

So what does this all mean? Well, in retrospect, if video games are going to progress the way they are, don't be surprised to hear companies like Nintendo follow the same path as THQ did earlier this year. Why? Because all of our games now are more realistic, horror, and, well, HUMAN than they were before. And with titles like Watch Dogs coming out to prove my point, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I mean, it's only early 2013, guys.

And As Always, Gamers of the Nations, RAGE ON.


FIND ME ELSEWHERE!
Google+
YouTube

WE NEED YOU!

ATTENTION ALL READERS!

I need your help writing the next article of Gaming Revolution! The topic for the next entry is video games that revolutionized how we play video games. The article will be called: "Game Changers: Video Games That Warped Our Minds." So here's what I need from you:

Go to either my Google+ or comment on this post saying what video game you think changed gamers and why. I'll pick my favorite 5 responses and put them in the article!

The deadline will be posted soon so stay tuned!

And as always, Gamers of the Nations, Rage On.